The Unsexy Thing About Habits: How to Develop Healthy Habits

Habits aren’t flashy. There’s nothing inspirational about the repetition of the same task.

Ask most people about habits and they’ll tell you about their propensity to bite their nails when nervous or their desire to quit smoking. 

A habit can be defined as “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” The thing about a habit is that it requires time to develop. There’s no hack or shortcut to habit formation. 

The same goes for both good and bad habits. No one becomes a couch potato after watching one TV show. Neither do you become a runner after jogging to the mailbox.

Habits form out of deliberate, repeated practice.

I continually hear clients and friends say they wish they could become X or accomplish Y. But the difficult thing about either is that it requires habit formation.

Writing can become a habit.

Working out can become a habit.

Eating healthy can become a habit.

The misconception about habits

There’s a common misconception that it takes 21 days to form a habit. The thought goes something like this: If you can endure it for the first 21 days, then afterward the practice will be ingrained in your mind so you will continue doing it without thought.

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as that.

Think about a habit you have. It could be good or bad. Think back to when it began. You did it once or twice, then a couple more times, and eventually, it became something you do on a regular basis. 

Bad habits can often start in good circumstances. Take drinking for example. It usually begins as a social practice done in the company of friends. But over time, it can become a bad habit when it is what you return to during times of stress.

You may not even realize that much of your day is made of habits: brushing your teeth, making your coffee, getting dressed, driving to work – many of these activities take place almost exactly the same way each day.

So, you might be thinking, “I have these habits, but how did they start? And how do I use the same strategy to form good habits?”

Let’s uncover the steps to forming a habit so you can use the same framework to establish good habits.

Habit formation process

In a post titled The Four Habits that Form Habits, Leo Babauta provides four simple steps to building habits.

However, when it comes to habits, I think the most powerful ones are those that have an identified purpose.

Step 1: Identify your “why”

Before you begin working towards your habit, identify your “why.” Why do you want to begin this new habit? Is it to become stronger, feel more confident? Is it for you or someone else? Maybe you want to start eating healthier so you’re around longer for your family.  

Before you start working toward developing your habit, identify why you want to do it. This will make the following steps easier.

Step 2: Start very small

When it comes to starting something new, we tend to overcomplicate it. We say we want to start working out. So, you get a gym membership, tell yourself to go 5x/week, and workout for a minimum of 45 minutes.

But from the very beginning, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Going from 0 to 60 is no way to create a habit. As Babauta explains, we must start exceedingly small if we want to create a habit.

Instead of telling yourself you need to workout for a lengthy period of time at the gym, instead set an exceedingly small goal for yourself: one minute.

That’s right. Set a goal of walking for one minute. Then as you maintain that over the course of the next two weeks add a couple more minutes.

At first, the practice is more important than the results. As Babauta explains, “If you want to exercise, it’s more important that you actually do the exercise on a regular basis, rather than doing enough to get a benefit right away. Sure, maybe you need 30 minutes of exercise to see some fitness improvements, but try doing 30 minutes a day for two weeks. See how far you get, if you haven’t been exercising regularly.”

Flossing one tooth, going for a one minute walk, adding one small vegetable to your plate – this is how you create sustainable habits.

Step 3: Be aware of negative thoughts

You communicate to yourself throughout the day more than anyone else. Our negative self-talk can be the greatest enemy of our desire to develop healthy goals.

Thoughts like, “It’s just one day – I’ll work out tomorrow,” lead to continual setbacks in your attempt to create good habits.

You need to realize that your thoughts don’t control you and they certainly don’t define you. They are simply thoughts but you don’t have to act upon them.

When a negative thought comes to mind, observe it, be okay with it, and move on without taking hold of it or allowing it to take hold of you. 

Turn your thoughts outward. Rather than being consumed by the inner turmoil, go back to your “why” and remember the reason you started this journey.

Step 4: Find joy in the habit

When doing research for a book several years ago, I had an “aha” moment. I was interviewing someone who had climbed Mount Everest twice.

I asked him about the glory he must have experienced the first time he summited the great mountain. He told me something that has stuck with me ever since. He said if you’re unable to enjoy the experience in between, the outcome will be far less rewarding.

The same goes for habit formation. We don’t typically create a habit just for the sake of creating a habit. We develop habits because of the outcome they produce. A runner runs each day to improve his or her cardiovascular health. But if that runner never learns to enjoy the act of running they will never be satisfied.

Whatever your new habit might be, you need to learn to enjoy the act of doing it. When the act of doing the habit itself becomes enjoyable, the habit itself will become a reward.

Learn to savor healthy food. Find joy in exercising. 

Step 5: Have a plan for when you falter

One thing you have to realize is that you will falter. It’s what you do after those times that make all the difference. Restarting – picking yourself back up – after you fail is mandatory.

I love the advice Babauta provides for failing. He recommends accountability. And that’s why accountability is such an important part of our Living Well Membership. When we fall alone, we have no one else to pick us up. But when we falter in the company of others we have the support to help us get right back up.

“Get some accountability — promise a friend or your spouse that you’ll pay $25 if you miss your new habit two days in a row … and then double that the next day ($50), and double that if you miss four days in a row ($100), and double every day you miss in a row after that. Or promise to mow someone’s lawn or wash their car if you miss three days in a row. Tell everyone on Facebook that you’ll personally clean their bathrooms if you miss three days in a row,” Babauta says.

One slip up isn’t the end of the world. It’s going to happen. But when it happens repeatedly your progress toward habit formation will suffer and most likely end.

Now we know what it takes to create a habit, but what benefit does it provide us?

The benefits of habit formation

Good habits are a wonderful thing. Because if it’s a good activity it will lead to good results. Like brushing your teeth – if you’re accustomed to routinely brushing your teeth, you’re less likely to get cavities.

Just about any activity under the sun can become a habit. And that’s good news because habits will take you a long way. Habits will provide countless benefits, but let’s discuss eight specific benefits you can enjoy from habit formation.

Benefit 1: Habits eliminate the need for self-control

When a habit is created – truly ingrained into your mind – it becomes your default. You don’t have to worry about willing yourself to do it. You just do it because it’s become second nature.

Benefit 2: Habits replace the need for motivation

Similar to the previous benefit, habits also eliminate the need for motivation. Throughout college, I worked at a gym. January 1st always provided a great deal of entertainment. The cardio and free weight areas would be overloaded with men and women showing off their new fitness apparel, swiping through the latest fitness technology, and jamming out to their newly created workout playlist.

But the old faithful looked entirely different. They came in the same way they had every day before, did their work without fanfare, and walked back out after a good sweat session. They didn’t need to rely on motivation. To them, working out was a habit that didn’t require a playlist or new outfit to motivate them.

Benefit 3: Habits are the antidote for “off” days

It could be writing, exercising, parenting, you name it – we all have off days. It’s not bad to have an off day, but the results can often be costly. It can lead to poor performance if we allow it to go unchecked. But a habit is accomplished whether you’re “off” or “on” during a particular moment.

Benefit 4: Habits require less energy 

Habits make processes routine – automatic – as a result, require less energy both physically and mentally.

Benefit 5: Habits lead to results 

Olympic athletes are notorious for their strict regimens. They develop a daily routine that becomes automatic. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does allow the activity to become engrained.

Benefit 6: Habits label you

I cringe at the idea of being labeled or being defined by what we do. But it’s the nature of human beings to be defined by what we do. But we relish in the good labels we receive. Because they are the result of hard work. 

If someone doesn’t run, you wouldn’t call them a runner. Likewise, you wouldn’t call an active person a couch potato. Good habits lead to good labels.

Benefit 7: Habits become a foundation to build upon

Accomplishing anything worthy of doing can’t be done without a foundation in place. Back to a fitness example. I’d be rich if I received a nickel for every time I heard someone say they wanted to run a marathon. 

In college, while working at the gym, I would often ask those same people how many miles they were currently running since they hoped to one day run 26.2 consecutive. More often than not, I would hear something like, “You know, I just can’t get myself to enjoy running.” 

You have to start at a mile before you can run 26.2. If you want to begin eating healthy, you need to eat fresh, whole foods. You can learn that and so much more in our Living Well Membership.

Benefit 8: Habits eliminate wasted time 

Deliberate thinking, although often necessary, requires a lot of time and energy. But habits allow you to accomplish the task with efficiency. You don’t have to think about it, you just do it!

Conclusion

If you want to live a healthier, more productive life then you need to implement habits. No matter who you are or what your background may be, you can implement effective habits that will lead you to success through these 5 habit formation steps. As a result, you can enjoy the 8 benefits of instilling habits into your life.

Stop procrastinating and dwelling on past failures. Start developing habits today. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish once you do!
And if you want help changing your limiting mindset and developing healthy habits, we invite you to join the Living Well Membership today.